The Big One

Master 11 months is now Master 1.  This last year has been full on. It was one of the hardest and joyful years of my life. I gave birth to a beautiful boy at home,my hubby lost his job after 10 years when the company he worked at went into administration. He did reno's on our kitchen, got solar power, painted a bedroom, Master 4 and Miss 2 had to have surgery, my brother was involved in a car accident, hubby had to have emergency surgery and lost another job and is now about to start studying. The most memorable and empowering is giving birth to Master 1

I have loved watching this baby grow into a cheeky little boy who is very much the clown of the family. He has brought laughter into every day. This baby made me realize how strong I am as a woman. His birth helped me regain my faith in God. He has also reminded me how important my career as a Stay at home mum is and reaffirm why that job is so important. He has taught me how precious my children are and that I need to enjoy each day with them. This baby changed my world for the better.

Master 1 I love you and I thank you for teaching me so much over the last year.

10 things never to say to a parent who has a deaf child

We all occasionally have foot in mouth disease and say things we wish we hadn’t,  especially when meeting people for the first time. For some reason meeting a parent who have a deaf or hard of hearing child seams to really bring these moments out in people.   So I am going to share with you some things you should never say to a parent of a deaf child. All of these have been said to me.


1 "Oh he is not that bad. He just heard me then." Or "Oh he heard me,"
 Yes my child is deaf. Just because it looks like he can hear everything you are saying in no way means he is. My child has learnt to deal with a quiet wold. He learns routine very fast and can pick up on the smallest clues. If your eyes dart across the room he will guess where you want him to go. If another child is on one side of the room he will guess that is where you want him. He understands facial expressions better then most children. He is very good at body language.  

2 "Oh, I’m sorry. " (then walk away)
 Why are you sorry? You have done nothing wrong. I don't need you to be sorry I just need you to understand if you want my child to understand you make sure you are looking directly at him when you talk. Speak clearly, but don’t exaggerate your lip movements, if you do it will frustrate him or he will laugh at you because you look funny.

3 "He will never drive a car."
 Why will my son not be able to drive? He is deaf not blind. I’m amazed at how many people think that deaf people cannot–or should not–get their driver’s license.Why will my son not be able to drive? He is deaf not blind.

4 - Oh, I know exactly what you mean.  I think I have hearing loss, too – I have a hard time understanding people sometimes. You know like when everyone is talking at once or at a concert.
 Why is it that everyone I meet suddenly has hearing loss? Not being able to hear people talking when you’re in a loud environment is not the same as being deaf or hard of hearing.

5 "You better get his eyes checked"
I don't understand why people think that because my child is deaf he needs his eyes cheeked. The ears are not part of the eyes.

6 "Are you sure?"
Yes I am sure my child is deaf. He has been tested more times then I can count.

7 "But he has hearing aids"
  Yes he does. They are awesome little things but they cure his hearing. He still needs to be looking at you when you talk other wise it's like watching a movie but having to keep getting up do do something. You always miss parts and you need to fill in the blanks.

8 Are you going to get one of those things to fix his hearing?
Not all children can get a Cochlear implant it's just not that simple. It also suggest my child needs fixing. If you are going to ask this question get to know the person first.

9 "He is going to sound all dumb when he talks"
  This comment implies that people who are unable to  have clear speech are less intelligent, Plenty of deaf people have good speech

10 "What did you do wrong in pregnancy?'
 Just because my child is deaf in no way means I did something wrong. This questions implies I must be the reason there is something "wrong" with my child. There is nothing wrong with my child therefore there is no way I could have done anything wrong in the pregnancy.





 

School for Master 4

Master 4 is deaf. Till this day it's still something I can't seam to get my head around. It's something that hurts more then words can describe. It is also something I have learnt to deal with. I do everything I need to do. Australian Hearing, Teachers of the deaf hearing aids etc etc but I deal with this by not thinking about my grief..

This year I am looking at schools for Master 4. I had this dream that all my children would go to the same primary school. There is a problem with that dream now. The problem is my child is deaf. It means I need to go through something call a special enrollment (the word special makes me feel sick to the stomach). It also means the school Master 6 goes to may not be the best school for Master 4.So the meetings with all the schools in my area begin to make Master 4 is going to get the best education my husband and I can afford.
 
My husband and I have agreed on a private education for all our children. We believe it will provide our children a better education. When it comes to school Master 4 will need an AVT (Teacher of the deaf). This is something the Queensland Govement provides in all State and private schools. The problem is The Queensland govement will be cutting the funding. Meaning an AVT will only be at state schools.

This has created many problems. It means my silly dream could be broken and it means I have to face that fact my son is deaf. It means I need to go though all the feelings that come with it. I view my son a normal but in the eyes of the world he is "speical" I hate looking at my sons aid everyday, I hate wondering if he has heard what I have said. I hate having to have the same routine because if we break it his world turns upside down. I feel ill thinking that he may not be able to go to the same school as his brother. I fear that he will feel different in his own family. I feel guilty that for whatever reason he is deaf. I am angry that my choice as a mother has been taken away. I want to cry, I want to scream, I want to run away, I want to protect  but most of all I want my child to hear.

The day in a Life of a SAHM

I have been asked many time what I do all day as a stay at home mum. Some people seam to think I sit at home all day watching T.V and playing with the kids others envision sparkling clean floors and home cooked meals. So today I am giving a play-by-play of a typical day. Some will still think I do nothing and it can't be that hard while others will pump their fists in the air out of sheer joy that they are not the only ones.

7am  Wake up (crap I slept in). Master 6 and Master 4 are already awake. I make Master 4 breakfast and coffee for me. Miss 2 wakes. She tells me "I go toilet".
Master 4 runs in yelling POO and drags me to my bedroom. Miss 2 has done a poo on the floor and tried to clean it up. I clean up poo and put Miss 2 in the shower.

7:30am Make Miss 2 breakfast. Check that Master 6 is getting dressed. He is not. I tell him to get dressed for the second time. I also warn Master 6 that if he does not listen there will be a time out. I tell Master 4 to look at the routine chart. He needs to get dressed. Miss 2 is finished breakfast and is looking at the routine chart. I help her get dressed. I start making lunches ( I was silly and didn't do them last night)

                                         I Now Have No Idea What Time It Is.

Master 6 and Master 4 end up with 2 time outs, I help dress Miss 2. Miss 2 takes her shoes off 3 times. I dress Master 11 months and make sure the older boys are doing the routine chart. Master 6 tells me he left his school shoes in the car so I run around looking for another pair that will fit. I do find some that are a little tight but they will have to do. Kids pack bags and we out the door.

8:30am drop Miss 2 and Master 4 off at Kindy (Kindy days are Monday and Tuesday) and Master 6 off at school.

9am Home. Put Master 11 months to sleep.

I can usually tell what type of day it will be by how the morning rush runs. My guess is today will be hectic. 

9-10:30am Put all the washing from yesterday away, clean the sun room and lounge room. Give Master 11 months morning tea. Hubby comes home for lunch and I stop for a cup of coffee. Check answering machine. Call Teacher Of The Deaf for Master 4.

10:30-11:30am  give Master 11 months boob, clean dining room sweep floor in living areas, wipe down table from breakfast ( I forgot to do it in the morning rush) Play with Master 11 months. ( we played with blocks and the train set.) put load of washing on. Make lunch. Teacher Of The Deaf Calls me back.

12pm -pm put Master 11 months down for a nap. Give myself a rest.

12:30pm - 1Pm 30min cardio ( today was pussycat doll workout)

1pm - 2:30pm clean kitchen ( I didn't do it in the morning), prep dinner, put washing in dryer, put washing in machine. tidy my handbag, sweep floor in kitchen and hallway.  Rest


2:30pm - 5pm  feed Master 11  months boob,pick up kids from school, afternoon tea, drop Master 6 and 4 off at atrium, Give Master 11 months more boob play with master 11months and Miss 2, Master 6 bring in bins

5pm- 6pm bath kids, cook dinner, Master 4 set table, eat dinner

6:30-7:30pm  master 11 months, Master 4 and Miss 2 watch T.V, wash up master 6 wipe up, Master 4 and 6 and Miss 2 pack bags for tomorrow, everyone picks up toys, brush teeth, tidy bedroom, master 4 and miss 2 tidy bathroom, give master 11 months boob, 15 mins reading and kids go to bed.

7:30pm -9:30pm washing in dryer, washing away, washing in machine,make school lunches watch t.v. Hubby comes home (YAY), spend time with hubby, go to bed.

Bananda bread

Baking is one of the jobs I least like about being a stay at home mum. Most of the time I get my hubby to do it. He makes the best cupcakes and jam drops and he enjoys doing it. This week he has not been able to bake. That means I have had to bake something.

This is my banana bread. ( I would take a photo but my camera is being fixed) My kids and hubby love it.

Banana Bread

1 3/4 cup Self raising flour
1/4 cup of plain flour
1 tsp ground cinnamon
2/3 cup firmly packed brown sugar
1/2 cup milk
2 eggs
2 1/2 tablespoons butter
2 overripe bananas 

Preheat oven 180°C
grease loaf tin
Put all ingredients in a mixing bowl
beat all ingredients together untill smooth( I use a hand mixer)
Put mixture into loaf tin
cook for 45-50mins





 

2013 Goals

Every year my husband and I sit down and make some goals for the year. Some of these goals are personal and some of them are family goals. In 2012 my goal was to loose weight and start living a healthy life. I have done that. I have lost over 20kgs and my life is much healthier. We eat good food, we spend time outside and we are happy.

The goals for 2013

Take the kids camping at least twice
read 10 books
be able to run around the block
save $5000
loose the last 10kgs
spend 2 hours outside with the kids each day no matter what the weather is.
lean to cook more meals with chicken in it.

Master Joshua

“In terms of a disability, I don’t view myself as having a disability…I function like any other hearing person can. My deafness does not deprive me of anything. I can do anything I want. Except maybe sing.”  Summer Cider (Gallaudet University Recruiter)

It was a Saturday morning. I woke my husband up and told him he was going to be a dad for the second time. Our excitement grew and we could not wait to meet our little boy. 2 hours 45 mins latter we had him in our arms. Master Joshua was born on the 17th Jan 2009 and weighted almost 7lb. I held this little boy on my chest and told him how much I loved him. 

The next morning a nurse came and asked me if it was ok for her to take Master Joshua for a routine hearing test. I saw this as a time to eat my breakfast before my Husband and Master Noah came for a visit. When the nurse came back she told me my baby did not pass the test. My heart sunk. I then looked at my baby and cried. I realized that he never heard my first words. I then started grieving my child hearing.
  
I spent the first 12 months of his life grieving his hearing. I remember looking at this beautiful little boy and wondering what the use was talking to him. I remember holding him telling him I loved him and then crying because he could not hear it. I remember praying to God to take my hearing away and to give it to my son. I got angry with myself and I wondered what I did wrong.

Three years down the track and I have a very cleaver little boy. He runs, makes a mess, gives the best hugs and talks. He is just like any other three year old boy.